One particular thing I couldn’t fail to notice with the way people in my university communicate is when they explain something, they are likely to conclude it with “Does it make sense to you?” instead of “Do you understand?”. Now imagine a good-looking young lecturer teaching you to do data visualization and he ends the lecture with, “Does it make sense to you?” while smiling. Nah, I don’t find the visuals on the PowerBI more interesting than the visual of the one explaining it. And yes, it does make sense. Oh pardon, what I meant, it doesn’t make sense. Could you please explain it again to me? I am not a diligent student but I don’t mind listening to your explanation for hours.

LoL. I am kidding. That’s just a random imagination of what could've happened if it is in a K-drama setting. Let’s go back to the topic before you start asking me how to join that “My Lecturer is Handsome” class. Certainly, I wouldn’t let you know :p

There were a lot of moments when people asked me this question to confirm whether what they convey is delivered to me. However, what made me have full consciousness about it was that recently I have had a quite technical course and the lecturer seemed to catch the confusion in the students’ faces. We all literally had blank expressions, clearly displaying our unhidden bewilderment. He being a patient lecturer himself smiled while saying, “does it make sense to you? I can repeat if it doesn’t,” with no signs of judgment in his eyes. YES PLEASE! This dumb student right here lost her sense because of your sweet smile the difficult material *I am back with that “my lecturer is handsome” joke *if any production house wants to adapt this story as a movie, please get Nicholas Saputra as the lecturer.

That question, while touching on the same thing, made me feel so different from “do you understand?” which I usually heard. Whilst “do you understand?” puts the emphasis on the ability of the listener to comprehend, “does it make sense to you?” emphasizes the communicator’s effectiveness in delivering the message. I found it as a more respectful approach to verify, which I appreciate highly. This subtle (yes, I told you I love subtlety) shift in wording is beautiful, isn’t it?

The phrase "Do you understand?" can sometimes come across as condescending--putting the explainer in a slightly higher position than the one receiving the explanation. It could also imply that the person speaking tests the interlocutor’s ability to grasp the message. Not that I dislike that phrase but now that I found a better way to express it, I think I will try to adopt the new one. “Does it make sense to you?” shows a desire to take responsibility for the effectiveness of the communication and indicates a willingness to ensure that the message has been received correctly. The small shift from “can you understand my message?” to “Can my message be understood?” has impacted me on how I should be more intentional with my choice of words.

I am (once again) surprised with how small attention to our wording might create a big difference. Choosing the right words can help us convey the message effectively and elicit the desired emotional impact. The choice of words also set the tone of our message which significantly affect how our message is received by others. For instance, those two phrases have similar meanings but evoke divergent emotions. I tend to be more open about my lack of understanding when “Does it make sense to you?” is asked of me. After attending that class, I realized that it is essential to be mindful of my wording because effective communication is not just about what we say, but how we say it. Therefore, I would love to be more intentional with my choice of words from now on so that I can be more effective in communicating. 

Now, the question is, should I be intentional about the gorgeous lecturer too? Okay, just ignore my crazy self. Hihi. I know this random imagination doesn't make sense. Does it make sense to you? :)

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Images credit: manfredsteger at Pixabay