“It sounds cliché, but you really do have a lot of silent lovers in your life. People who want to see you succeed… They look at your smile, your career, your kindness, and your moves, and are silently cheering you on.... Just know that when you feel all alone—there are always people rooting for you.” — Kinematronics via Instagram.

(For a better understanding of the context, I suggest you read my previous post, "Thank You for Saving Me After the Seemingly Endless Heartbreaks".)

Last week, several friends sent me kind wishes, having saved my birthday in their calendars. While I don’t celebrate birthdays, it made me reflect on the love and support I’ve received throughout my journey. It felt like a good time to write myself a letter—one of encouragement, healing, and lessons I’ve learned.

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Dear Nur Imroatun Sholihat,

I’m always rooting for your happiness.

I know life hasn’t been easy, and I know you’ve carried the weight of heartbreak for years. As a child, you wondered if your mom loved your brother more, and that perceived favoritism planted insecurities in your heart. That little girl grew up feeling like she wasn’t enough, no matter how hard she tried. Even at school, your hard work was overshadowed by a teacher’s bias toward a boy in your class. And even now, there are moments when you still feel like you’re being treated as if you aren’t sufficient—as if your efforts aren’t quite enough.

You grew up believing love was something you had to earn—that happiness was always just out of reach. Watching others receive affection effortlessly while you fought for acceptance left you questioning whether you truly deserved it. You convinced yourself that being enough meant you had to constantly prove yourself—be better, nicer, stronger, more diligent, more worthy. And so, you kept pushing. I know you felt tired but you kept trying....

Over the past year, though, something heartwarming has happened. Messages from friends, acquaintances, and even strangers filled your inbox—people telling you they were cheering for you, rooting for your happiness, inspired by your journey. You also came to understand that it's okay not to be your mom's favorite. Little by little, you've been healing from the pain of unfairness, betrayals, and past wounds. For the first time, you realized that the love and encouragement you’d been longing for had been there all along, from people who genuinely wanted to see you thrive. More importantly, you found closure to the painful narrative and made peace with yourself. You recognized that the acceptance and love you sought didn't need to come from others—it was always within you.

After a series of seemingly endless heartbreaks, I want you to know that I am proud of how far you’ve come. I admired that you didn't let the pain turn you bitter. Thank you for lifting others up, even on the days when you felt down yourself. Thank you for trying your best to be kind even to the people who hurt you. And I want to remind you of something that’s always been true, even when you didn’t believe it:

You are enough. You always have been.

It’s taken a long journey to finally say this, but I want to hug you while saying:  

I’m always rooting for your happiness.

I’m sorry I didn’t say it earlier.

I will erase your tears as I whisper: It's time to smile. It's time for you to smile.

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P.S.: I'm always rooting for your happiness too, my family, friends, and readers. I have you in my prayers.  

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Photo by Pixabay from Pexels