"Adults feel pain too. It’s just that adults keep it bottled up." – Reply 1988

Just like Dukseon in the Reply 1988, who looked back on her youth through the said K-drama, I would love to be able to look back at my 2024 via this post. Coincidentally, both years shared a connection to the Olympics—Seoul in 1988 and Paris in 2024—and both carried the bittersweet weight of their narrators' journeys. In the future, I hope I can recall my 2024 memories—here in my Reply 2024:

2024 was a paradoxical year. On the surface, it was filled with achievements I had worked tirelessly for: becoming an IT audit team leader, managing Auditoria magazine, leading the MoF-Cyber Guardians public relations efforts, earning a place on the Dean’s List, serving as a governor for IIA Indonesia, building a stable presence on social media, and passing the CISSP exam— a dream that had lingered for years. Each milestone stretched me, forced me to grow, and uncovered parts of myself I hadn’t known before. Alhamdulillah.

But beneath it all, this year became one of the hardest chapters of my life. 2024 mercilessly tested me—physically, mentally, and emotionally. This particular year, my life seemed like a constant downhill journey and there wasn’t a way back. I battled two illnesses that left me questioning whether I should just lock myself in my room and give up on everything. There were days when I felt completely defeated—wondering if I even deserved happiness. There were nights when I lay awake, questioning everything—especially whether life was worth the pain and sorrow. 

If Reply 1988 captured a world that moved slowly, 2024 was its opposite—everything moved too fast. Space exploration, AI advancements, the Olympics, the elections in both the U.S. and Indonesia, and so on all seemed to unfold at a deafening pace. Yet, I felt like a quiet insignificant bystander, standing in a corner with an unsettled heart. If this story has a soundtrack, please lend me “Don’t Worry, Dear” from Reply 1988. Its warm consolation—"그대여 아무 걱정 하지 말아요 (My dear, don’t you worry about a thing)"—felt like the embrace I desperately needed.

Amidst the chaos, I found solace in ordinary moments. It wasn’t the achievements that kept me going; it was the small, quiet acts of kindness and connection. Family members who constantly prayed for me. That’s a nod to Reply 1988’s quote: “In the end, what helps you overcome obstacles isn’t brains, but someone who will take your hand and never let you go. In the end, that’s family”. Friends who offered comforting words and companionship on difficult days. The simple joy of noticing anything better as you are slowing down.  Ultimately, the tranquility from having full reliance on My Lord. These seemingly "small" moments became my lifeline, teaching me that even in the darkest times, beauty can be found in the simplest things.

And then, there was the “husband-guessing game” that Reply 1988 so cleverly played in the story. For me, the mystery remains unresolved and the search continues. But I’ve come to realize it’s okay not to have all the answers right now. It’s okay to sit with uncertainty and trust that the answers will come in their own time. Maybe, one day, when I look back, I’ll understand why I felt so lost this year. Until then, I’m learning to find peace in the waiting and trust that some mysteries are worth the journey.

In the end, 2024 reminded me of a truth that’s both humbling and freeing: I am just an ordinary woman living in a corner of the world. Like Deok-sun, I’m curious about the future yet burdened by worries about what lies ahead. But I’m learning to embrace the present moment, to find meaning in the here and now, and to trust that the pieces will eventually fall into place. Maybe one day I’ll write a "Reply 202X" where all the pieces make sense and everything I’ve been through will reveal its purpose. But for now, I’ll keep writing, keep hoping, and keep cherishing the beauty of this unfinished journey.

A belated farewell to 2024. You were the year I wiped away the most tears. The year I hugged and encouraged myself the most. The year Allah taught me that even if (hypothetically) I don't have anyone to rely on, I always have Him by my side. Thank you for reminding me of both my vulnerabilities and my resilience.

내년에는 더 행복하고 건강해지자.

Let’s be happier and healthier next year.

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Borrowing Zion.T's lyrics from Yanghwa BRDG:

"행복하자 행복하자 (Let's be happy, let's be happy)

아프지 말고 아프지 말고 (Let's not get sick, let's not get sick)"

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image source: Lisa Maria via pinterest